hello, it’s me again!
It has been so long since I’ve sat here to type. Not because I didn’t want to. I was confused, I didn’t know what to say, how to say it.
The past few months have been… a rollercoaster ride. I’ve had those hands up in the air heck yeah highs, and I’ve had many not so shiny lows. Through grace, and grace alone I am here. I feel like Jesus is a six flags kinda guy so he knew exactly what I was up against.
Long story short, this stage of life has me navigating new paths, emotions, victories, defeats. Ya know, all the fun things you don’t post on Instagram.
I felt like I was doing pretty good. I had a new big girl job, I was making money. I had finally went up another rung on the ladder of success. Right?
It was all good, but none of it felt great. I wasn’t going home at the end of the day with joy in my heart. I’d pop on the couch, start scrolling. I saw everyone else’s lives, and frankly it just seemed like everyone was happier.
They were getting engaged. Traveling. Having babies. Buying new cars. Graduating.
I saw blessings… and I wondered where were MY blessings? Don’t get me wrong, I was happy for them, but at the same time I questioned my plan. I knew I had my own blessings, but I wants theirs too.
WHY them? Not me? What did THEY do that I didn’t?
Comparison is the thief of joy.
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”
Galatians 6:4-5 MSG
If you’ve ready any of my previous blogs, you’re probably familiar with the fact that God really likes to humble me. Usually in dead silence, and all of the feels right to the gut.
My prayers for more things, for more, were answered with a slow down and look around.
I was so busy looking at everyone else’s gardens (that’s what we’re gonna call them), that I had not stopped to admire my own.
I have a home. I have food, a comfy bed. I have people. Relationships. Experiences. The list could exhaust us both.
I had been blessed so abundantly, and then immediately turning around and saying “okay God, what’s next?”
I had not taken the time to stop and look around. Relish in the work and favor it had taken to get me here. I wasn’t laying these blessings at God’s feet and asking, “What can I do here? Who can I help here? What is my purpose HERE, now?”
I was so busy looking around at other people’s gardens that I was neglecting to tend to my own. Digging holes, planting deep roots. I had failed to bloom right where I was planted.
We get so caught up.
We want the next step, the next move, and we kind of want it now.
It’s so easy to see others lives and think, yeah I want that too. Guilty as charged.
You see, MY timeline, the list I had created for myself, of how my life is supposed to work out, wasn’t matching up to the big guy upstairs. It’s easy to preach His plan, not mine. But to live that way is a different story.
You’d think I maybe would’ve learned this by now, but I was so frustrated with what I didn’t have that I was the blessings I did have for granted.
God had given me my own flowers, He knew these flowers were right for me, these were the flowers I needed.
These flowers were patience, they were gratitude. They were relationships. Hardships. And more obvious ones I tend to overlook. Like a bed, food, a smart brain, opportunity.
Life comes in seasons, and some of them are Instagram worthy. They are filled with excitement and growth. FUN THINGS. Some of these season are monotonous, they seem bland and needy.
Seasons change. God’s plan doesn’t.
My garden will change. My flowers will look different. Some might be bright and fragrant, others will be humble little ground flowers. Nonetheless they are all flowers that bloom without question, every day, they bloom right where they are planted. In a perfectly kept garden, in the desert.
God’s plans and provisions for us are SO much greater than those we have for ourselves.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Pause for a little bit, take time to rest. Hop off the hamster wheel of success. Look around. Relish at your garden. Water it, and bloom where you’re planted.